Show Notes for Monday, March 9, 2026

Monday, March 9, 2026

What We're Talking About

The news we couldn't ignore if we tried

Tensions Rise: Counter Protesters Throw Devices At Crowd At NYC's Mayor's Mansion

NBC News— A protest outside Gracie Mansion, the official residence of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, became tense after two suspicious devices were ignited and thrown toward demonstrators. Police had already separated opposing groups, but the situation escalated when someone used pepper spray and was arrested. Soon after, an 18-year-old counter-protester allegedly lit and threw a device toward the rally area and attempted to use a second one. Authorities later said at least one device was a genuine improvised explosive capable of causing serious injury or death, though it went out before detonating and no one was harmed. Witnesses reported that the bombs were thrown at anti-Muslim protesters and that the attackers shouted “Allahu Akbar” during the incident. Two suspects were taken into custody, and the NYPD bomb squad and the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force are investigating; the mayor and his family, who were inside the residence at the time, were unharmed.

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Super Speeder With Stomach Issues Aprehended In Orlando

WEAR TV3— An Orlando woman was arrested after police say she was caught driving 136 mph in a 60-mph zone on February 16. According to the Orlando Police Department, officers clocked the dark-colored BMW at more than double the posted speed limit before pulling the driver over. Body camera footage shows the officer asking why she was in such a hurry, to which the woman responded that her stomach hurt. She also said she did not know how fast she was going and could not clearly state the speed limit. Officers informed her that she had been driving at dangerously excessive speeds and placed her under arrest. Police later shared the incident on Facebook, emphasizing that stomach pain is not an excuse for speeding and warning drivers about Florida’s strengthened “Super Speeder” law, which imposes harsher penalties — including up to 90 days in jail, fines of up to $1,000, mandatory court appearances, and possible license suspension — for driving 100 mph or more or 50 mph over the speed limit. Authorities said the arrest serves as a reminder that extreme speeding can lead to jail time rather than just a citation.

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Gen Z Are Trending Back To Brick And Mortar Malls

Wall Street Journal— Gen Z is helping revive mall shopping as younger consumers increasingly choose to shop in person, influenced by TikTok creators and a desire for hands-on retail experiences. In the past year, shoppers aged 18 to 24 bought about 62% of their items in physical stores, signaling a shift back toward brick-and-mortar retail. With Gen Z’s annual retail spending expected to exceed $12 trillion by 2030, malls are adapting by redesigning spaces to be more social-media-friendly, while brands such as Pacsun are expanding their number of locations to meet the renewed demand.

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House Showing Turns Into Happy Hour

Gulf Coast News Now— A Florida homeowner’s security camera captured a man drinking their alcohol while being shown the house during a tour. The footage shows him taking a bottle of liquor, drinking from it, and putting it back before making himself comfortable and even taking a nap on the homeowner’s couch. The realtors later said they had left the man alone in a room and felt terrible about the incident. Despite the situation, the sellers said they do not plan to press charges against him.

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If The Porta Potty Is Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin'

Smoking Gun— A Florida inmate working as a “trustee” at a BBQ fundraiser left his assigned duties to have sex with a woman inside a porta potty. The inmate, who had been trusted to help serve food and keep the area clean, reportedly ran toward the portable restroom where he was joined by a woman he had been speaking with earlier. When officers later asked where he had gone, he admitted to having sex but refused to identify the woman, though police later determined she was a former jail inmate who had been released a few months earlier. Authorities have since charged the inmate with prisoner escape or attempted escape, a felony that can carry a penalty of up to 15 years in prison.

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Ask Uncle Bobby

Bad advice for good people.

As heard on the B-Team Morning Show

Each weekday, some poor soul writes in for help. Uncle Bobby gives them the worst advice we can legally put on the air.

March 11 · Today's Letter

Dear Uncle Bobby,

I am single and happy, but my friends keep trying to set me up with people every time we go out. How do I get them to stop turning hangouts into surprise dates without starting a fight?

Dreading Silence After Texts
Ambushed Bachelor Bait

Want to hear what Bobby actually told them?

Read Today's Bad Advice →

Today's Holidays

Celebrate the weird stuff. We do.

Holiday #1 of 4

False Teeth Day

False Teeth Day is that sacred little calendar prank where we pretend dentures are a lifestyle choice and not a mechanical failure with branding. It’s a tribute to the brave souls who can smile, chew, and threaten a steak without their mouth parts making a break for it like a parolee. You celebrate by cleaning them, clicking them, maybe misplacing them in a napkin at a diner like a magician with no respect for the audience. And if you don’t wear them, congratulations—today’s about practicing for the future, because time comes for everybody, and it doesn’t knock.

Hear this bit on the show