The B Team Morning Show

National Piña Colada Day is that annual reminder that somebody looked at rum, coconut cream, and pineapple and said, “Let’s turn a beach into a personality.” It’s a holiday for people who want their problems blended, their calories disguised, and their optimism served in a glass that sweats more than they do. You don’t celebrate it so much as you surrender to it—one frozen cup at a time, pretending this is “self-care” and not just dessert with a felony record. Stick around, because once the blender starts, the dignity usually goes first.